Making Connections: Insights for Entering Your Child’s World
Meeting a child in their world is the first step to helping them navigate ours.
As adults, we spend a lot of our time trying to pull children into "our" world. You know this world all too well, the world of schedules, coordinating everyone, and "getting things done". But for many children, especially those navigating sensory or cognitive challenges, our world can feel incredibly confusing and demanding.
One highly effective way to connect with children is to change tactics. Instead of asking them to join us, we step into their world of play first. When we meet them in a space where they feel safe and in control, we create a regulatory safe haven where genuine connection can happen.
How to Step Into Their World
Entering your child’s world doesn't require fancy toys or a complex plan. Here are a few ways to start:
Be a "Wait-and-See" Detective: Instead of suggesting a game, sit nearby and simply watch how they are playing with their preferred items, be it blocks, dinosaurs, a train set, or even a digital screen.
Narrate, Don’t Interrogate: Instead of asking "What are you building?", try narrating their actions: "I see you're putting the blue block on top of the red one".
Accept Your Character: If they hand you a plastic spoon and tell you that you're working at an ice cream shop, lean into it! Validating their narrative builds a foundation of trust.
Be a "Parallel Player": Instead of taking over the task or directing the flow, simply play alongside them with your own set of materials. By mirroring their energy and choice without demands, you show that you value their way of being, which naturally invites joint attention and shared connection.
The "Lend a Hand" Approach: Watch for moments where your child might be facing a hurdle and offer to be their "assistant" rather than the "fixer". You can ask, "is there a part I can hold?" or "should I be the one to press the button? This approach respects their agency while subtly supporting an adaptive response to a challenge.
When we show our children that their way of playing and thinking is valued, we give them the confidence to eventually reach out and explore our world, too.
